i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I just gift wrapped bread.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Randomize
