my mouth tastes like poor choices
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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