Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
