don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
