i barfeds in our rink
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
