After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Randomize
