i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
