My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
