The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
