1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
