Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
