I'm going to jail i love you
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
