Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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