A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
