I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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