In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
