I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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