Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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