I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize