Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize
