he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
