You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
