So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
