I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Randomize
