alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
