omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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