There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
