Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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