Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
