my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
