I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
