I just made out with a guy for $7.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
