we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
