Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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