Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
