That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
