I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
