man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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