week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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