would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
