We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
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