I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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