Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Sext me about skeletons
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
