Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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