I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
he thought i was a dude.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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