the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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