The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
