YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
