Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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