I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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