so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
