So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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