He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
